so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
