we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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