My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
