And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
