you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
