omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
