I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want to fling myself into the sun
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