just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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