i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
