I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
