told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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