Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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