My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize