We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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