Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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