Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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