Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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