I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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