There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
