If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
