we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
