neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
God, I missed his penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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