Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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