He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
nutella sex= disaster
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
