its not stalking. its research.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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