I got chris browned last night
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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