the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
