No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
