I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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