There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
