when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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