R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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