I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
