I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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