Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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