Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
