Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Who haven't you slept with?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No one comes to mind.

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  (202): Who haven't you slept with? (703): No one comes to mind. http://tfl.nu/pw54
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (585)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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  (513): Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times. http://tfl.nu/rlhm
  Replies (21) Good night (594) Bad night (4190)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'

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  (704): my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!' http://tfl.nu/sd3c
  Replies (41) Good night (9310) Bad night (990)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

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  (443): I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people. http://tfl.nu/qtnv
  Replies (30) Good night (6482) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets

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  (248): Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets http://tfl.nu/6e6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2791) Bad night (842)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5372) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

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  (509): Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it. http://tfl.nu/ou1a
  Replies (3) Good night (2439) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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  (206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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  (310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu
  Replies (20) Good night (7520) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

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  (585): I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again. http://tfl.nu/lp5f
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (495)
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  (310): View more from California

  This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?

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  (310): This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married? http://tfl.nu/80xb
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1433) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

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  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...

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  (615): If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well... http://tfl.nu/i7xy
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (341)
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  (555): View more from

  Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one

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  (555): Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one http://tfl.nu/yjqa
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (115)

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