Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.