"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.