Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
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Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed