hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
