my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
