What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
