He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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