ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
