i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He is an equal opportunity slut.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
