He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize