Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?