Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW