Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (746) Bad night (3089)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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  (732): I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking http://tfl.nu/678a
  Replies (14) Good night (726) Bad night (2172)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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  (502): Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night! http://tfl.nu/a9zw
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (2623)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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  (347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd
  Replies (13) Good night (4244) Bad night (660)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  do you ever just like the smell of your farts?

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  (407): do you ever just like the smell of your farts? http://tfl.nu/zlob
  Replies (39) Good night (4218) Bad night (4142)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.

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  (410): She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible. http://tfl.nu/n7ul
  Replies (18) Good night (5360) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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  (605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x
  Replies (15) Good night (2575) Bad night (2829)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

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  (608): I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon http://tfl.nu/v008
  Replies (10) Good night (1242) Bad night (2052)
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  (718): View more from New York

  knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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  (718): knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/4mi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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  (469): Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again. http://tfl.nu/qvag
  Replies (6) Good night (2234) Bad night (770)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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  (506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl
  Replies (3) Good night (2196) Bad night (533)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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  (850): My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco http://tfl.nu/szsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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  (727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey
  Replies (5) Good night (1492) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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  (505): It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand. http://tfl.nu/gh3l
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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  (425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3
  Replies (11) Good night (766) Bad night (389)

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