All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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