Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
