okay pat passed out under dana's car
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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