who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
