Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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