brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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