Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
