I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
