Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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