I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
