Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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