hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just pee around me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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