he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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