So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
