left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
