I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
from now on my penis is your penis
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
