people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
