Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you had me at cake vodka
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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