Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize