im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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