did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The Olympian is in my bed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
