i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
a search helicopter?!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
