is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
