i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
