I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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