6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
